I remember when I used to look forward to writing on my site. Uploading it. Looking forward to the number of views. Comments. It was cool. Then life happened, as it usually does. And I pulled away from the world of blogs. I still randomly look at some blogs but I’m not as consistent as I used to be…4-5 years ago. I realized that the basis of my blog was me working on finding happiness. I may have found a temporary moment of happiness from time to time but I believe it’s still a work in progress. As much as there’s a struggle with life and its nonsense every day, I’m doing my best to just keep my head above the water. Sometimes it isn’t enough. However, I manage. This isn’t a real post. I don’t want anyone to think I’m really back. I may have to say goodbye soon. Wow. I think of all the blogs I had and have and it’s astounding. I wish I could have maintained them more. I do miss it at times. But hey, I got a journal.

Time really does fly. But where does it go?

Random Excitement

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so happy about something. Excitement about this food blog is building inside me, guys & gals. I even had a dream about going around the world [with Zu] trying different foods, recipes, etc. just to share it… with YOU! I imagined a logo, giveaways, everything. I want to know how to go big [with this] because going home is not an option. I want business cards. I want it all!

I mean, I love food. And I can say that I genuinely enjoy keeping a blog (even if I haven’t been consistent as of late). I’d finally be doing something I love and no one would be forcing me. Trust me. I know all about doing things for other people (i.e. my parents). So I’m really open to criticism and feedback. I want all you successful blog folk to let me know what I can do to make it out there. I’m not just going to be a nurse. Or a health administrator. Or whatever else my education will lead me to be. I’m going to enjoy life. I’m going to do what I love. I don’t want anyone or anything to stop me. This is just step one.

I’d love any help and advice you got for me. I’m so emotional about this, I’m up at 2:30am lol

In case you missed it, this is the food blog:

MFH w/ Su & Zu

MFH w/ Su & Zu

You can go ahead and click the banner! Subscribe/follow/stay with us. I promise not to disappoint.

New with Sue

Hey guys and gals. I know it’s been a while but I just wanted to stop by and let you all know that I’ve got a food blog now! Along with this blog, which is going to get worked also, I’m tweaking and fixing things on the other blog. It’s called “Mission: Food Hunt with Su & Zu“. A collabo blog with a good girl friend of mine. It’s food related. Can’t go any deeper with that description. The first couple of posts are up. I know I’ve been a stranger. Two wrongs don’t make a right! :)

Take care.

Hi everyone. I really didn’t forget about updating. I just let life take its course. So… I have good news and bad news. Depending on what you want to hear/read first, here goes:

Bad News

I left a bookmark in the middle of my book (almost in the middle). I’m on June (Month 6) and I figured, I have  time to catch up. But with this time that I felt I had left, I also made time to dig a deeper hole of somber moods and grief. Not crying grief but personal sadness and just straight up disgusting and ugly attitude. It’s been bad. Very bad but I didn’t give up on myself (that’s some good news, right?)

Good News

I’m back! I’m here to tell you what month 2 was about and what month 3 will be about for me. Good news just seems much brief that bad news. Wonder why that is… Anywho.

 Month 2: October – Remember LOVE

This chapter was made for marriage. I thought I could skip it. I’m 23 (November 1st was my birthday, happy birthday me ^_^) and I’m single (Meh) so why read on? Because I’d also been reading my other book about love languages, I realized that love applied to marriage can somewhat be applied to all areas of your life. Why? Because everyone wants to be loved and sure, it may come in 5 languages, but we all need to speak it, feel it, receive it, etc.

But wait! Before I jump into October’s goals, I want to tell you what I did for September. Remember what I said about working out? I finally got my own membership at the gym. Big accomplishment for me since it was part of the goals I set for myself. Seeing my actual progress brings a slight thrill inside me and gives this great feeling I can’t put in any more words.

Okay, I’m back. Here are the goals:

  • quit nagging
  • don’t expect praise or appreciation
  • fight right
  • no dumping
  • give proofs of love

It’s hard to follow said goals because well, I’m not married but it’s November now so let’s see how I did from October to November.

Quit nagging. I’m my mother’s daughter and she NAGS! I hate it and vowed to never be that person. But I think women nag in general. Can’t avoid that. I nag my friend all the time to do better in being a better friend. Because to be quite honest, he does a poor job 6 times out of 10. I hate those odds. I care deeply about him but I can’t stand spoon feeding instructions on how friendships should work. Gotta do better on that. He and I both.

Praise and appreciation. I sometimes feel like I’m not acknowledged for things that I do that I feel DESERVE acknowledgement. I want to be noticed for doing something caring. I want a “well done” from time to time. It sometimes makes me feel like I did good, not only in my eyes, but everyone’s eyes. But I’ve been letting go of that need for praise. I figured, if I do things for me and once I’m happy with it, that’s all I need. As long as I’m happy with my choice and actions, that’s all that counts.

Fight right. Okay, this is gonna be short. I never used to fight fair. But it’s unfair to play dirty. So *sulks* if you have nothing nice to say, guess I won’t be saying anything at all.

Dumping. Bad bad habit. I may confuse this with venting from time to time. And I dislike the feeling of putting my burdens on others. I need a shoulder to cry on from time to time but then, once it turns into dumping, it’s pretty much over. Getting in control of that this month. Done deal.

Proofs of love. I’m not a pro at this. I’ve been awkward at expressing love lately. But there’s time to learn. Rubin said, “Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my actions.” And that explains it right there. Only time and opportunity standing in my way of acting on the love I feel for others.

Well, that’s my month and a half in review. I did not forget about this. I made that promise to myself to keep this updated. And here it is.

Did it again Susan. Write you later folks.

We Need To Talk

We need to talk.

No one wants to hear these set of words, no matter what the situation is. It’s almost as if we all have a hate/hate relationship with them. They may have as much of an impact, if not more, as “I love you.” “I hate you.” “I regret meeting you.” But the moment I tell you these four words, did it feel like our world & its happenings just stopped? Did it feel like everything we had in motion, with or without one another, had the pause button pressed on them? When I sat you down, did you feel this was a bother to your soul? Did you see this moment coming for a while? I bet you thought I had asked all the questions I could possibly have but the thing is, I go through a loop of questions and thoughts. My mind is always on spin. You make me think more than I’ve allowed myself at times. So now because of this, we need to talk.

What do you expect? What can you expect? The world for us can either end right now or things can end up great. We need to talk is probably just me trying to find a way to let you know how I feel – in a good way.  Why are you so apprehensive about this inevitable conversation? Would you rather I hold it in and harbor what could become ill feelings about us? About what’s really happening? I don’t know what’s happening anymore.

That’s why we need to talk. Nothing good can come from us avoiding the talk. I just want to get in your head. I want to let you into mine. I want to confirm and disprove your fears about the We need to talk convos. I want to show you that you have everything and nothing to worry about at the same time. That’s why I feel we need to talk. You have all right and no right to make me wait for your decision on whether we’ll talk or not. All the more reason for you to understand and accept that we need to talk


When I first saw this book, I knew I’d have to read it. And I started it (along with My Happiness Project book). I took an assessement [what feels like] ages ago to determine what my love language is and I honestly forgot where it was until today. Now before I show what my results are, I’ll start on how I tried to find out how I showed love and wanted love shown to me.

I recently went to Bronx, NY to see a few friends and I brought this discussion up. Without knowing the background of the book, I told my friend Ju the 5 love languages. They are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

I can honestly say I understand and have spoken all five of the languages. “What do you think is MY love language?” I asked her. “Gifts,” she says without hesitation. And I was almost certain she was right. I love giving to people because I feel it’s the language that, even though everyone may not speak it, they love gifts. People love getting things that won’t put a burden on them. And I enjoyed giving gifts, being thoughtful, and doing all that cheery stuff for people, especially when I really feel they’ll appreciate it. So by default, I figured this is how I express love and would want it expressed back. But then I continued to read Chapman’s chapter on how I’d discover my love language.

When it comes to gifts, I’m weird. I don’t always want gifts. I don’t know how to accept them. I appreciate the thought when it comes to receiving gifts. I know you thought of me and that’s all that matters. I got to the chapter on Quality Time and I began to see a lot of things that I didn’t expect. I love spending time with people I care about. Whether it’s in silence, doing something we both enjoy, etc. I know a lot of people that express their love with/as Quality Time and I never understood why it was always okay with me when I spent time with them and we did absolutely nothing… until now. I love being around people I enjoy being around. Still with me? Making sense? If I don’t want to be around someone and I feel like I’m being forced, I’m not feeling loved and I’ll definitely want to get out of that situation. And I’ve felt this recently.

So now I know my love language and it helps me understand why some relationships with people thrived and why some suffered. But this is what my results were when I took that assessment:

Quality Time
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

You may have scored certain ones of the love languages more highly than others, but do not dismiss those other languages as insignificant. Your friends and loved ones may express love in those ways, and it will be beneficial for you to understand this about them.

In the same way, it will benefit your friends and loved ones to know your love language and express his affection for you in ways that you interpret as love. Every time you or they speak one another’s language, you score emotional points with one another. Of course, this isn’t a game with a scorecard! The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is more of a feeling of “this person understands me and cares for me.” This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved relationship.

The Scores I got for each love language:

6 – Words of Affirmation
9 –  Quality Time
2 – Receiving Gifts
9 – Acts of Service
4 – Physical Touch

I got a high score in “Acts of Service”. Like I said, I love doing things for people that I feel they’d appreciate and it’s the same for me. So I guess I expected those results also.

So, yeah. I know I’m a complicated individual and it takes time to understand a lot of people. But I’m glad I know this. I’m glad I’m reading this book. And I’m glad you’re reading this post. You just got to know me on another level that most still don’t get. Well, thanks for stopping by. Still doing what I can to update this blog more often. Take care. :)

So, from my last post, I’ve been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (plus another, that’s gonna be another post). It’s my 12 month project for myself, not to find happiness but, to be happier than I am now because it’s not the happiest I can be. And now, the 1st month is over. My January is September and here’s what I’ve been working on. With help from the book, there are commandments of Happiness and they can be whatever you feel they should be to help you. My lucky 11 commandments are:

  1. Be Susan.
  2. Smile a lot.  It’s a good look.
  3. Let it go and fast. It’s not that serious
  4. Act the way I want to feel.
  5. Be fair and as polite as possible (lol)
  6. Lighten up because, again  it’s not that serious.
  7. Don’t be idle and do something.
  8. Aim to please yourself. Others are optional.
  9.  Love hurts but then again, you’ve never been shot.
  10.  Live, learn and take good notes – it’ll be in all your life tests.
  11. Most importantly: be patient, focus, listen and trust in God.

I really like 5 and 9 but since I came up with most of these, I love them all. For the month of September, I tried to:

  • go to sleep earlier
  • exercise better
  • tackle a nagging task
  • act more energetic

If you’ve kept up with me, you’d know I work overnight and absolutely HATE it. It drains all the energy from me and takes away from when I’m in class on Mondays & Wednesdays and Friday clinical. So I’m always tired. Always trying to crawl under covers and not fall asleep at work. So going to sleep earlier was going to be a problem. It wasn’t until the last weeks of September that I told myself I’d be going to sleep as soon as I walked in the door from work & saw my bed. And I’ve done a pretty decent job with that. :)

Exercise. I was working out like crazy from April to August. I slowed down this month and wondered why. I did find a home workout I could do. Exercising brings this kind of natural energy that I can’t find in a cup o’ Joe, soda or other energy drinks. But like I said, I found this workout that I can do at home 3x a week and it doesn’t make me happier but it maintains that happiness I get from dressing down to workout.

Nagging task? Like learning how to drive? I think that’s a task that I’ll be tackling for the whole year or at least for the next few months. Another nagging task? Keeping my room clean. I paused cleaning it to actually type this up (lol). But I have managed to at least clean it every day before I leave for work so that I don’t have to come home to a mess.

I remember the days when people would be jealous of the energy that I have and ask why I was always energized. I had a happier air about me then. I wish I had that same air now. I miss being energetic. All my moving around never made me tired. It actually kept me up and ready to tackle anything. I’m working on finding that energy again. When I’m at work and about to fall asleep standing up, I crank my jumping music and start dancing around. Yeah, people may watch. But I’m not doing this for a show. This is for me.

That’s my happiness project summary for September. I’m glad I’m going along with keeping updates regularly. I had to type this a few days before the end of September but I wanted to commit to this badly. Thanks for reading.



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